Saturday, May 4, 1990

Dear Diary,

Tonight Chris said Joe really likes me. Should I go out with him again? After all he's been such a jerk to me. Maybe I just will go out with him again. What the hell? We were put here to take chances. If I do go out with him again what will happen? Will he break my heart a second time? I hope not.
Anyway, Casey is going out with Frank. Daria is such a dog or you could refrase that as a female dog (b---h). She told Brian that I got my period. Shouldn't I be mad at her? She uses people. She's ugly and has a really bad attitude problem.
See ya later.
Love,
Penni

Wiser, more mature, and menstruating, at 10, I offered myself comforting old wisdoms about chance-taking and "just going for it." I think I felt older than my friends when I got my period, like I had naturally passed them on some growing up track. Oooops, sorry girls! It's not my fault, it just happened!
This didn't mean, however, that I wanted the boys to know! So when Daria dared to tell Brian-- well, how could she? It was supposed to be a secret among girls. The boys weren't mature enough to understand what it was all about, what I was going through. No offense, but at 14 Dave was still freaking about kissing a girl, and at 10, I was confronted with the ability to make babies. Maybe this was my singular experience, but I felt like getting my period in 5th grade forced me to grow up real quick. What were boys doing in 5th grade? Playing kickball and eating their boogers (and some reading Tolstoy, right Dave?). I was playing kickball too, but I had to worry about my "hygeine products" malfunctioning.
It's a lot to take, that's all I'm saying.